Tuesday, May 8, 2012

You lay down with dogs, you get fleas

I live in Arizona.  I love my state.  But, like any other place, we have our challenges.

Unfortunately, conservative politics attracts certain extremists.  I have basically stopped going to conservative political events because white supremacist organizations invariably show up.  It pisses me off that my honestly held convictions and traditional beliefs are tainted by these people, and until conservative organizers do a better job of keeping those people out of events, my family will not be participating.

Before anyone says that maybe I should just become more liberal, remember that anarchists attach themselves to liberal political events.  They break windows, terrorize businesses, and burn down every Starbucks they can find.  I know that those people do not represent the mainstream thought of the majority of people on the left side of the political aisle.  So kindly grant me the same courtesy.

Last week, one of the most disgusting denizens of the neo-Nazi movement in Arizona killed himself.  Would that he had just started with himself, but no, he also murdered his girlfriend, her daughter, her 18 month old granddaughter, and the baby's father, who was a young Army veteran who had done time in Afghanistan.

So here's the thing, and I am fully prepared to be called a horrible bitch for this.... I don't see the girlfriend as much of a victim in all this.  Her daughters were.  Her daughter's fiance was.  Her granddaughter was the worst, most powerless victim of all.

Lisa Mederos knew JT Ready for six months before she allowed him to move into her home.  There is no way he kept his white supremacist tendencies, National Socialist Party membership, and advocacy of landmines along the border, secret from her that long.  Especially as all these things were public knowledge discussed in all of our local media outlets.  Ready was running for Sheriff in Pinal County, and so was a public figure.  She knew what he was and what he thought.

And she still let that slimy piece of shit move into the home where her daughters lived with her.  What kind of mother does that?

According to news stories, Ready had lived there about six months.  That means that he moved in sometime in December.  Mederos called Gilbert police months after the fact to report that Ready had choked her in August 2011.  Excuse me, but that is BEFORE she let him move in.  So she also knew he was violent and abusive to women in general, and her in particular, BEFORE she let him move into the home where her daughters lived with her.  Again I ask, what kind of mother does that?

In the short time he lived there, Ready made the Mederos daughters miserable and forced both of them to move out.  He ordered Lisa to make her daughters move out.  OK, so the violent neo-Nazi you just allowed to move in to your home, who has already choked you at least once, dumps bottled water over your head when you buy the wrong brand, and is now freeloading off you because he can't even manage to not get fired from his crappy minimum-wage job at AutoZone, orders you to force your daughters out of your home in favor of him..... and YOU DO IT?!

I'm sorry, no one can possibly be THAT good in bed.

So, call me all the awful names you want, but this is a case of a woman paying the price for her own disgusting choices.  There are dozens of cases here in Arizona, and all over the country, of what I call "death by Mommy's boyfriend."  I am sick of it.  I am utterly, fiercely sick of children harmed or killed because their mothers, for some reason, just cannot exist without some man in bed next to them.  Violent criminals, selfish freeloaders, drug users, serial domestic abusers..... too many women allow these bastards to live with their babies.  If you can't even muster the strength that a mother bird shows defending her nest, when you invite slimebags into your life, watch them harm your children, and then keep the slimebag around AFTER he hurts your children, that, to me, constitutes burning up your mother card.

I know that it goes the other way too.  There was one heinous case where a dad's girlfriend killed the children after CPS left them in dad's custody in violation of a court order.  So I know that dads can invite evil people into their kids' lives too.  (Ask me about some of my dad's previous girlfriends...ugh.  ;-p )  But we mothers are the ones who carry these babies under our hearts for nine months, we nourish them from our own bodies.  Our bond is just different, and mothers who violate it are the lowest of all creatures to me.  Women who stand by and let someone hurt their babies, are, to me, in many ways, worse than the perpetrators themselves.  The perp has no bond of trust or love or commitment to that baby.  Mothers do.  Our babies trust us to be willing to lay down our lives to protect them, and these bitches won't even suffer inconvenience for theirs.

Lest anyone think I would excuse abuse by biological fathers as opposed to shack up boyfriends, while I will not go into detail, our family had a brief struggle with behavior that crossed the line a few years ago.  Anyone who knows me knows how wrapped up in my husband I am... I love him passionately and my life with him is everything I ever hoped for myself and my children.  But I told him he needed to leave our home, go to his mother's, and figure out his shit or not come back.  I will not allow anyone to be abusive with my children, even if his name is Dad.  Thankfully, we solved our issues as a family, he has never repeated such behavior, and we were all able to move on.  Lest anyone think badly of Craig, let me assure you that behavior on my part was largely to blame for his anger and loss of control.  So it really was a family issue that we needed to solve together.  But regardless of my faults, nothing on Earth justifies anyone hurting my babies, and I was fully prepared to accept the demise of my married home if that was what it took.

The "babies" in this case may have been adults, but so what?  Lisa Mederos allowed JT Ready into her home knowing what he was, at the same time her girls were living there.  She allowed him to stay after he kicked her babies out.  She chose him over her children.

At the time she died, she had finally woken up and was trying to break up with him and get rid of him.  But what the hell took her so long?  Unfortunately, she paid the ultimate price, as women who entangle themselves with abusers often do, especially when they finally try to break away.  In that, I grant her a modicum of victimhood.  She figured it out too late, but she should have had a chance to try and start again.  Ready took that away from her, and he had no right to do so.  He stole the future of three generations of one family.  Would that he had only ended his own future, as that was going nowhere good anyway.

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